"I've Never Smelled That Before..." EZ-Baked is complete!

EZ-Baked is complete (and fucking delicious, like, no other)! Sunny and I want this blog to do more than just the Stoner Achievements List, hell, any pot smoker can take a crack at it. No, we wanted this blog to be revolutionary in Stoner culture. So when we had to complete EZ-Baked, which calls for us to bake brownies or cookies, what did we do? We said "Fuck that" and we made something incredible.

They're called Devil's Food Balls. They are Devil's Food Cake, smothered with cream cheese frosting, rolled into a ball, covered in chocolate. Hell yes. But we needed to make this marijuana relevant right? So we made them into "Devil's Red Eyes". And here is how we did it.

First, acquire your ingredients and tools.

1. Betty Crocker's Super Moist Devil's Food Cake Mix
2. 1/2 Cup of Vegetable Oil (It will be Ganja Oil soon)
3. At least 1/8 of an ounce, or about 3.5 grams of dank weed
4. Betty Crocker's Rich and Creamy Cream Cheese Frosting (16 oz)
5. An Accurate Scale (a 10th of a gram is best, but just a gram increment will do)
6. Glassware to measure and store hot oil
7. A small saucepan, bitches
8. A cake pan (I can't believe I had to include this)
9. 3 Eggs
10. Bag of Chocolate Chips (16 oz)
11. An oven and stove
12. A coffee filter or cheesecloth
13. A bowl (one for cooking, one for smoking lol)
14. Clothespins or bulldog clips
15. Pam (preferably, the specific one for baking)
16. Toothpicks

First, weigh out your weed. It is generally known that using poor quality weed, or seeds and stems is good for cooking, as it allows you to get use out of the shitty stuff that you don't want to smoke. I save my seeds and stems just for this, so I had plenty.

Yes, I keep my stash in a Tic-Tac box

Grind that shit up, weigh it out the best you can. Then add between 1/2 to 2/3 cup of vegetable oil to a small saucepan. Heat it up on medium heat until it just barely starts to bubble, then set it to low heat (on a 1 - 10 scale, start off at 5 and pull it down to 2 when it bubbles). If at any time during the process it should begin to bubble, pull it off and lower the heat. You don't want to boil the cooking oil, you want it right below simmering. When the oil is where you need it, add the weeeeeeeed!

No, that's not all the weed that I used, I just forgot to take another picture

Stir this bitch, and watch for bubbles for about at least an hour. It feels like a long time, so bring some jams or a movie or something (good time to smoke a bowl). I let it cook for an hour and a half for good measure. Let it cool until it is cold enough to touch. Put your coffee filter over your glassware, and secure it with clothespins. While it's cooling, you can stop here and continue later if you want. If not, preheat your oven to 350, as per the instructions on the box.

It kinda smells like pancakes, seriously

Pour the ganja oil through it to strain the weed. Some people like to save and dry their weed, but I feel as though the weed tastes awful and is bad afterwards, but that's personal preference.

Real men drink boiling Ganja Oil

Next, mix your cake batter in a bowl, using 1 and 1/3 cups of water, 1/2 cup (or whatever is left) of ganja oil, 3 eggs, and cake mix slowly by hand for at least 3 min. If you have a mixer, follow the directions on the box.

DO NOT EAT BATTER (quoting Betty Crocker)

Spray some Pam on your cake pan, pour in your cake mix and bake. For me, it took 35 min, but for you, it could be different. Check the box for help.

Munchies are T-30 minutes away

Viola! The cake is done! But this is the Stoner Achievements List! So Jason and Sunny don't stop there! Let your cake cool until it is cold enough to be handled with bare hands. Crumble up the cake into another bowl (or the one you used earlier).

Now there are two things in my kitchen that are baked as fuck

Mix that up with a 16oz can of cream cheese frosting, and stir until you get a very creamy and thick texture.

The Cookie Monster just had a stroke

Getting close to the end, here comes the super messy part. Roll the mix into balls, and place them on rows on parchment paper. At this point, you should stick this in the refrigerator, to make sure they have cooled plenty. Leave them in for about half an hour to an hour. While it's cooling, put your chocolate chips into a double boiler (optional) or microwave them as described on the package. Make sure they are hot and melted before you continue.

Having timed the chocolate-melting and ball-cooling perfectly, take out your balls, and using toothpicks, dip them as evenly as possible in the chocolate. Place them bake on the parchment, and let cool for at least an hour in the refrigerator.

Right before the chocolate!

Congratulations! You are now enjoying the BEST edibles on the planet! The batch made 36 rather large balls for me, but you can probably get about 50 if you use a melonballer. I only shared these with a lucky few friends, and they were honored! So there you have it, you can now make "Devil's Red Eyes" and share them with all your stoner friends! This means one challenge down, hundreds to go!

Ganja Baker Extraordinare,

Jason