Tuesday, April 26, 2011

It Has Almost Begun!

So, we are slowly getting things going over here (remember what I said about being responsible people? It kind of slows down things like this just a little), but hang in there. As this Thursday will be the official release of our first Stoner Achievements Board! We estimate we'll go through a few of them overall, but on this one are the first ones. The challenge officially starts Friday to complete them as quickly as possible. Get. Fucking. Excited.

In order to hold you over till then, I present to you, the first 40 out of 420 achievements!

  1. EZ-Baked: Make cookies or brownies containing marijuana
  2. Flying Ninja: Smoke outside at night
  3. Nug Ninja: Get blazed atop any restricted building
  4. Day Walker: Smoke outside, in public, in broad daylight
  5. Smooth Criminal: Smoke with a cop in the general vicinity
  6. White Collar Crime: Smoke while walking a dog in a suburban neighborhood
  7. Fruit Roll-up: Buy every flavor of wrap you can find, and roll a joint with each, then smoke
  8. Voice of Reason: Smoke out a straight edge person
  9. *Doctor's Order: Get a medical marijuana license
  10. Pearls Before Swine: Conduct a sale or purchase of marijuana while a police officer is nearby
  11. **Determined: Complete a tolerance break of at least two weeks
  12. ** Perseverance: Complete a tolerance break of a month or more
  13. By The Gods...: Smoke some Thor's Hammer
  14. Rehab: Successfully take three shots of vodka in between pipe hits without coughing
  15. ***Phew...: Get searched by a cop with at least an ounce on you, and don't get busted
  16. ****Woodstock: Smoke freely at a music festival
  17. Rights Holder: While carrying more than an ounce, be stopped by a cop, and walk away freely
  18. El Dorado: Smoke a bowl of Alcapulco Gold
  19. Fire-Pit: Save the roaches from ten dank joints, and roll it all into one huge joint, sprinkled with hash.
  20. SRS Business: Print off a life-size poster of the achievements, and mark off each one as you go along
  21. One Ring To Rule Them All: Blow a perfect smoke ring
  22. Prometheus: Lend a lighter to a friend in need
  23. Tarzan: Smoke a joint while sitting in a tree
  24. Friends With Benefits: Smoke with at least six people you know at the same time
  25. Undercover Brother: Go to work stoned
  26. Arctic Fires: Smoke Northern Lights
  27. Visiting the Grandparents: Smoke Grand Daddy Purp
  28. Jacking Off: Smoke Jack Herer and Purple Haze in a blunt
  29. ^Fruit of the Loom: Smoke any strain of: blueberry, mango, strawberry, and pineapple in a hookah at the same time
  30. Unleash the Beast: Drink a Green Dragon
  31. It's Not A Microphone: Get busted by your friends for holding the joint and talking
  32. Underage B&: Toke up as a minor
  33. Passing The Knowledge: Go to class stoned
  34. Shotgun Wedding: Smoke out a weed virgin using only second-hand smoke
  35. The Bad Choice: Smoke right before a BBQ
  36. One Million Miles High: Get super baked and have sex
  37. Party Foul: Spill the bong water
  38. Green Gills: Drink the bong water
  39. The Chiba Chef: Cook an entire Thanksgiving dinner (or something similar) while smoking
  40. The Rick Moranis: Watch Honey I Shrunk The Kids, Space Balls, and Ghostbusters all in one sitting, adding a joint or two to each movie.
*We're going to have to find a substitute for this, as we both already have licenses.
**Determined/Perseverance are going to be our last goals on this board (save for a few special ones) in order to give us time to prepare our next segment, and make sure we NEVER STOP GETTING HIGH.
***This is most likely going to stay uncrossed forever, as we don't seek out conflicts with the police. However, we're including it for the future possibility that it may happen before the list is complete. Who knows?
****Sunny and I are attending Kanrocksas in August, so this is going to have to stay on the board for a bit (all alone, poor thing!), but we won't forget about it!
^We also plan on flavoring our own weed, and teaching you how to do it too! So this means it could just be reg, or mids, but it will definitely have some flavor!

As you can see, this list is pretty formidable and intimidating, and this is only the first forty. I hope you join us for the ride, and keep sending the good vibes this way.

Much love from my git-tar,
Jason

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